My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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