Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
