The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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