i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The Olympian is in my bed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize