I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
whose parrot is this?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
