She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Im part way to drunk.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
