i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize