So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
