come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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