I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
