Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
