my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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