I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
