I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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