Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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