Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
