So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
