did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
