If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
