I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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