The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
