Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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