I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
