can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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