this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
