small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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