Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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