i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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