East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
