Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
