Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
