Pappa wants mamma naked
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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