Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize