I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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