yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
