please come you make the beer taste better
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
