How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
