For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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