Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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