I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
