gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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