i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
