her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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