it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
