Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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