She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
