I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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