you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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