This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Blood and glitter go together right?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
