Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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