yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
