Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
