If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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