bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
