you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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