Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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