His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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