I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
