Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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